I want to go back
by allthingsinspace
Summary: AU - Callie and an unexpected journey. Who will she meet and how will it end?
1. Chapter 1

Title: "I want to go back"

Rating: T (subject to change)

Summary: AU - Callie and an unexpected journey. Who will she meet and how will it end?

Note: I started writing this story in Spanish in 2015, but I never finished. I wanted to translate the story and continue in English, but I was a bit afraid to do it without the support of another person, because English is not my language. After much thought if I should do this, I finally dared and decided to publish it without any revision. I apologize in advance for all the mistakes, but I did it in the hope of finding someone willing to help me with grammar and spelling.

* * *

 _I've tried to leave it all behind me_

 _But I woke up and there they were beside me_

 _And I don't believe it but I guess it's true_

 _Some feelings, they can travel too_

 _— Florence and the Machine._

Prologue

\- Present -

The wind hits her face and the soft breeze plays with her hair. She takes the lapels of her jacket and pulls it towards her body to resist the sudden cold. She takes a deep breath and involuntarily her eyes filled with tears. She clenches her jaw trying to stop the sensation, shakes her head and tries to focus on her surroundings to contemplate what is in front of her.

The smell of the sea sneaks in a sigh and the sound of breaking waves startles a heart that sometimes seems asleep. The cold sand under bare feet shakes sensations that seemed numb, and the gentle breeze whispers memories of other times.

There are places that awaken memories that were asleep. Images, smells and sounds that take us along paths that seemed forgotten and transport us to another time.

A time where life was simpler and carefree, where everything seemed easier, regardless of whether the world was falling apart around us. A time in which to play was always eternal, where a story was enough to ward off fear, where heroes defeated the villains, and good triumphed over evil.

A time where life was composed of dreams and hopes, illusions and desires. A time when you could reach the highest mountain simply by closing yours eyes, and a hug was enough to push back the darkness.

"Where did those times go?"

The woman smiled at the memories of when she was just a child and, like sequences, memories of a lifetime passed through her mind.

She sighed deeply and frowned as she felt the tears build up in her eyes, then clenched her jaw in an attempt to stop her emotions. However, all she got was to see even more diffuse by the moisture accumulated in her eyes.

She put her hands on her waist, looked at the sand and shook her head. She didn't want to cry, but the tears fell down her cheeks without being able to contain them. With impotence and hardness she ran her hand over her face and wiped away her tears, but emotions seized her. She leaned forward, rested her hands on her knees and burst into tears, completely dejected.

The woman cried for what she felt, for what she had felt, for the many times she hadn't cried and for all that she had repressed. She felt the sadness anchored deep within her, and in the midst of the loneliness, she allowed herself to feel unrestricted.

She couldn't control her sobs and her body trembled uncontrollably, however, it wasn't long before she straightened up and forced herself to regain control. She inhaled and exhaled several times wanting to recover from the sudden anguish.

She lifted her head and looked up at the sky. She closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them again. It seemed that the sky would fall on her at any moment, she felt small under that immensity. For a moment, she wished she could find there the answers she needed so much there.

. . .

* * *

Chapter 1

\- Some time ago -

Nothing is what it seems when, at some point, our senses are distorted. Time goes crazy, spaces are transmuted and thoughts are confused. An anesthetized reality, where unconsciousness prevails and it is difficult to determine if what you see is real or some trick of the mind. Today was one of those days?

. . .

Callie focused her gaze on the horizon, looking but not seeing. Today, she felt as if time has been lost, her mind was in conflict, and she was distressed without knowing why.

She was standing, from one moment to another, in a place she hadn't visited in years. She looked around wanting to find something or someone who could explain how she got there, but nothing, everything was deserted.

How had she gotten there? That was what she wondered, but she didn't know.

Callie couldn't determine what was happening. At first, she had been surprised when she realized where she was. Then she thought that maybe she was having one of those days when the hours were lost and the reality was confusing, but something felt different.

She knew who she was, she recognized where she was, but she was sure that her life didn't belong there, however, in her head there were missing pieces.

Callie stayed there, lost in her thoughts, and unaware of the hours that passed. Only when the sun set on the horizon did she realized that it was already late and, as if her movements were directed, she began to walk.

When her feet left the sand and came into contact with the pavement of the small avenue that went up to the residential sector, she turned around. She looked once more at the beach and hugged herself to continue on her way.

Callie hadn't walked much when she stopped at a house she knew very well, but hadn't visited for many years. She could notice the abandonment of the property, even when the grass seemed to have been cut.

While walking through the garden towards the house, she looked for something in her pockets without knowing what she was looking for, but she had nothing. She looked at herself and realized that she didn't have a purse, documents, telephone or anything else with her. She looked at the street, where several cars were parked, but she didn't recognize any.

She wondered, once again, how she had got there.

Callie stopped at the main entrance to think what to do, there was something that felt bad. She looked at neighbouring houses, thinking that maybe someone could help her, but it was too late and it was better to find a place to spend the night. Tomorrow she could find out what was happening or how to go home, wherever it is.

She walked around the front of the house looking for a way to get in, but found no way. With her hands on her hips, thinking what to do, she looked to the right side and decided to skip the fence that led to the backyard.

When she was already there, suddenly, a memory passed through her mind. She quickly approached a flowerpot with dry earth, but that in her recent memory had seen with beautiful flowers. She lifted the flowerpot and found a rusty key underneath it.

Callie turned the key between her fingers while her gaze was lost for a moment. She smiled sadly, but quickly shook her thoughts and walked towards a door she still remembered. She turned the key with difficulty and finally the door opened.

She looked through the door and took a deep breath before entering. She walked slowly through the kitchen in the darkness, until she reached the living room. There, she lit a lamp and the room was dimly lit.

Callie walked slowly looking around and remembering what was once this place. Everything was covered in dust and some furniture was covered with a cloth, even so, she could remember what that place had been like. However, some memories were distant and diffuse, or maybe she didn't want to remember everything?

Between past and present memories, Callie felt frustrated, her mind was a complete disaster. She dropped on the sofa with a snort, she was exhausted and her whole body ached, as if a train had passed over her. She leaned back and closed her eyes wanting to turn off her brain for a moment, but fell asleep unexpectedly.

. . .

A strong light hit the woman's face and she struggled to open her eyes, the sun that came in through the windows had awakened her. She moved lazily trying to ward off the sleep and fatigue she felt. She narrowed her eyes a little disoriented. Then, suddenly, she got up and looked around. - It wasn't a dream. - She spoke and snorted exasperatedly.

Callie began to feel restless as time passed and she moved nervously from side to side. She didn't know what to think or what to do, the situation was very confusing. She needed something to calm her nerves urgently.

Desperate and anxious, she began to open and closed some furniture, she only stopped when she found a bottle. Callie didn't even stop to see what it was and took a long sip, then grimaced. She looked at the bottle and read aloud, "Vodka". She took another sip and shook her head when she felt the burning in her throat as she set the bottle aside. She breathed deeply trying to calm down, she knew it wasn't advisable to drink, she had to keep her mind clear.

Callie paused and forced herself to think. The logical thing was to call someone to come for her, but she wasn't able to bring someone to her mind. She was experiencing gaps in the memories of her present, but even if she could remember, she had no phone, no money, no documents, nothing. Therefore, it was best to go out and ask for help.

. . .

Once on the porch of the house, she looked around. The place hadn't changed much over the years and she wondered if the same people still lived around. Then her gaze stopped at the house on the right where a woman was watering the lawn. She frowned when the woman's face looked familiar, then a name came to mind, "Elis?"

Callie went down the steps to look more closely at the woman. She walked and stopped halfway when she saw the woman raising her head and looking in her direction. The years had passed for the woman and her hair was whiter, but she was Elis, of that she was sure. A smile appeared on Callie's face and she spoke. - Elis. - She was excited when she realized the woman was about to speak.

\- Amanda, How's John? – Callie looked confused at first, but then she turned her gaze to the house to her left, and realized there was another woman. She sighed a little disappointed but returned quietly to the porch without wanting to interrupt.

When they said goodbye, she took the opportunity and approached again. - Elis! - Callie spoke but the older woman didn't hear her. - Elis! It's me, Callie. - Nothing. - You don't remember me? - The old woman finished what she was doing without paying attention, she turned around and then disappeared in her house.

Why the woman who ignored her? They haven't seen each other for many years, but they knew each other.

Without giving up, Callie went to Elis's house and knocked on the door insistently, but no one answered. - Elis! I'm Callie, please open the door... - She took a breath to continue. - I know that maybe you're hurt... or angry at me... but please... I need help. - Her last words came out in a whisper as she leaned her forehead against the door, feeling defeated.

Callie felt sad. She knew she had left that place without looking back, but Elis couldn't ignore her like that. But then, her mind took her to other possibilities. Elis was elderly, maybe she had memory problems and she didn't remember her, but why not open the door?

"Maybe I'm frightening her", was what she finally thought. She turned and looked at the street thinking what to do when she saw another woman walking towards the house.

\- Hey! - Callie spoke when the other woman was closer, but the woman didn't look at her. - Really? Everyone ignores me? - The woman continued walking without saying anything, simply took the keys from her pockets and went to the door. - Look, I know you don't know me, but could you help me? - Callie didn't receive a response.

Annoyed by the lack of respect, Callie approached the woman to take her arm, but couldn't, something stopped her. - Hey! Can you hear me? - She came through the door after the other woman. - Hey! Look at me, please, I'm talking to you.

After several attempts, she gave up. Now, Callie was aware that the woman couldn't see or hear her, so she guessed that the same thing had happened to Elis. What was happening?

She was silent for a moment and her mind went completely blank, but little by little she began to feel an inexplicable fear. Suddenly, a chill ran through her body and panic flooded her. Without wanting to be there another second, she left the house.

Callie walked down the street faster and faster until she started running, not knowing where she was going. Suddenly, she stopped and looked around disoriented. People passed around her as she moved restlessly and scared. She tried to talk to them to get their attention, but nothing worked. She tried to touch them and couldn't either. She desperately wanted to be heard, considered by someone, but nothing.

What had happened to her or to others people?

An oppression in her chest stopped her thoughts, and suddenly the anguish and anxiety caught her. From one moment to the next, Callie felt as if she were trapped or controlled by something else, and that made her desperate. Her hands began to sweat as her heart beat very fast, and her head seemed to explode at any moment.

There, in the middle of the street, she fell to her knees and began to cry like a child while people walked around her ignoring her presence. Little by little, she saw them as blurred and distant sequences, while the bustle around her was heard farther and farther away. She was scared, tired, her body felt weak and aching... then everything turned black.

. . .


	2. Chapter 2

.

The passage of time has become volatile and strange. The clock seems to move in a hurry, to fall into endless pauses, and then simply move on. Space seems to be constantly changing, first is one place, then another. It's not logical, that's what Callie thinks.

Something inside her knew that it wasn't the first time that her reality seemed altered and illusory. ¿Drugs, alcohol? Was it a possibility for her? Or was this, something else?

For some reason she didn't understand, there was something that made her less and less aware of the life she had elsewhere. But, in spite of that, she still had small sensations and certainties. Callie knew that _her_ life was somewhere else, far from here, she knew it. However, she wasn't able to bring names or faces to her mind, because from the moment she realized where she was, it was as if _that_ life was gradually fading away.

Recent events were the ones that felt most alive and fresh in her mind, but everything about where she was, was in her head as part of a file that was being declassified little by little. Memories, people and places that she knew were part of her past, not of the present.

Callie laughed without humour, everything seemed absolutely crazy. She thought about the possibility of being in an absurd dream, of those that seem to be true, but then you wakes up and that has been everything.

So yes, it was probably a dream and she tried to convince herself of it. It was one of those dreams that want to tell us something, that lead us between the past and the present through an unfathomable journey.

Recent images passed through her mind. The beach, walking through her old house, the face of Elis, the woman who tried to grab and couldn't, the people around her in the center of the city, and then a big blur.

The feelings she had experienced at that moment still persisted. The uncertainty of being in a place she hadn't visited for years without knowing how she got there. The fear she had when she realized she couldn't be seen or heard, and the desperation that brought everything.

Now here, it was the next thing she was aware of. She was standing in the corridor of a hospital trying to understand what was happening, but so far she had no answer.

Therefore, the possibility that it was a dream was her best answer, but she wanted to wake up from that dream, because she didn't like the feelings she was beginning to experience. There was something pressing against her chest and her body felt weaker than before.

\- How's she? - A voice startled Callie, and her thoughts stopped instantly. She saw a person in the door of the room closest to her.

\- There haven't been changes. - Someone else's voice was heard in response, and a few seconds later she saw that person leave the room. They were two doctors who continued talking as they walked. Callie saw them walking away and couldn't hear anymore. Then her eyes went to the open door and she saw two nurses moving.

She approached with curiosity and, as expected, her presence wasn't noticed. It felt strange not be seen, but she was more aware of it now. The fear and uncertainty was still there, but she simply entered the room while one of the nurses checked the monitors that were connected to the patient.

Callie looked at the place, then her gaze went to the patient's bed and stopped in that image for a moment. As soon as her gaze reached the face of that body, she raised her eyebrows in amazement. She walked carefully to the bed because she had to look closely to see if her eyes weren't playing a bad trick. Once there, looking directly, her initial surprise was confirmed. Her mouth opened as if to say something, but nothing came out, and she froze.

Callie knew the person who was there and caused a great commotion in her, that image shook her. "It's _me_ ", it sounded like an echo, over and over again in her mind.

An incredulous smile appeared on her lips and she shook her head. She felt lost, immersed in deep uncertainty. She was scared and full of overwhelming feelings, while in the incessant sound of the monitors echoing in the room.

\- This is a fucking dream, I'm sure... I just need to wake up... - Those were the words she repeated in disbelief as she looked at herself in the hospital bed.

. . .

"I've to sleep, I've to sleep", was the mantra that repeated over and over again, thinking that if she fell asleep, she would wake up from that dream. Callie had closed her eyes several times, but she didn't know if she slept, because every time she opened her eyes she was in the same place, and everything was the same. But after finding some control over herself and the situation, she was beginning to wonder about other possibilities.

What if this wasn't a dream and she was trapped in some alternate reality?

Those were some of the things that started to appear in her mind, and she laughed at her own thinking. It was absurd what she was thinking, and everything seemed a plot of the movie. However, that is what was beginning to make the most sense.

What if she was somewhere between life and death? Was it possible?

She'd heard about near-death experiences and strange events, but this was too much, or not?

Callie looked at the bed once more and couldn't believe it. Apparently, she had some kind of accident, but she didn't remember anything. She wondered what had brought her to this place if all this madness turned out to be reality and not a dream.

What should she do? If she had questions before, now it had tripled.

Where she was?

A limbo?

An alternate space?

Would it be possible to get out of there, if that were true?

She thought maybe this was what happened when people were going to die. A preamble, the last trip to death. - God! This is what is happening? - Callie put her hands to her face and squeezed it hard. - Could this be true? - She had a tightness in her chest.

Callie was trying to remember her current life and what had brought her there. She needed to find something to help understand this, but there wasn't much. She only had sensations, as if her body spoke to her in silence, as if her blood carried the certainty of some things, invisible traces that were somewhere inside her talking without speaking.

She was forcing her mind, but all the faces she could remember were those related to this place. Elis, the woman she tried to talk, the two doctors, the nurses, but the rest was like a lack of definition. She felt there was something else, but she couldn't see it, except parts of her past and the connection to this place. Her mind ran between one thing and another, and she couldn't be stop it. She saw herself once more, and sighed.

. . .

The time in the hospital wasn't measurable and Callie couldn't determine whether hours or days had passed. She simply wandered the corridors without a fixed idea or a specific course. She didn't know what to do, she didn't know if she should do something or even if she could do something. Everything was monotonous around her. The routes were the same all the time and she didn't know how many times she did it. She walked and looked around, occasionally entered the rooms of other patients in similar conditions, and then returned to her room.

In her comings and goings she always saw the constant movement of people, consulting, visiting and accompanying patients. So she couldn't help but wonder why nobody was at her side.

She wasn't important to someone somewhere?

Nobody knew her situation?

Would she die alone?

How long had she been in that condition?

Time passed and Callie became increasingly hopeless. Maybe now she just had to wait for this _reality_ to disappear at any moment. She was exhausted and all she wanted to do was close her eyes and never open them again, because death was perhaps better than this disturbing loneliness. Maybe that moment wasn't so far away, something inside her told her.

. . .

A woman entered the central lobby a little disoriented. She looked around, wondering who could help her with what she needed to know. Then, she stopped her gaze where it was written: "Information", and approached.

\- Hello, my name is Sally, how can I help you? - A redheaded woman spoke politely.

\- Hi, I need to know about a patient. Who can I talk to? -

\- Name? -

\- What? -

\- Name. -

\- Oh, I'm sorry... Arizona Robbins. - The woman looked around her and nervously bounced her fingers against the desk.

\- One second. - The redhead looked at the computer screen in silent for a moment. – Mmm... I'm sorry, there's nothing.

\- Excuse me? - The woman suddenly came back from her thoughts.

\- No patient admitted with that name. -

\- What? No, no... That's my name, I thought you needed my name. - The blonde blushed. - Sorry, I guess I wasn't paying much attention.

\- So, what's the name? The patient's name, not you. - The woman smiled as she spoke.

A little embarrassed, Arizona took a deep breath. - I don't know. - Upon hearing the answer, the redhead couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips, but seeing the discomfort of the other woman cleared her throat.

\- It's difficult for me to help you, because without a nam... - Arizona interrupted the woman.

\- Look, I know...but before yesterday, I ran into a big accident on Route 76... I called 911 and I accompanied the person in the ambulance here. I've been restless since then... so... I just need to know how she is, and then I'll go... that's all. -

\- But, as I said, it's difficult... - The blonde interrupted her again.

\- I don't need to see her, I just want to know if she... - This time Arizona was interrupted.

\- I'm sorry, but if you let me talk... I don't know how to help you without a name, and I can only give information to the family. -

\- Mmm... But if you could see those admitted before yesterday, to the emergency room, around four in the afternoon... I just want to know if it's okay... - Silence. - Please... - Her voice came out almost like a plea.

Sally looked around thinking what to do. She was touched by the woman's actions and couldn't help but notice the real concern reflected on her face. - Look, I shouldn't do this... but it is okay, let's see what we found. - Arizona couldn't contain her smile.

\- Thanks! Thanks! - She said leaning slightly on the desk.

The woman focused on the system and took the time to review the emergency admissions. Arizona was nervous, worry had kept her restless since that day and she didn't want to continue that way. So she thought that if she could find out about the patient's condition, she would feel better.

\- I've found something... - She looked carefully at the screen to avoid mistakes. - Five people were admitted around four in the afternoon... two women, two men and... One minor. - The redhead looked at the blonde waiting for some clue.

\- It was a woman. -

\- Well... - She look all around before continuing. - One is in intensive care unit and the other died this morning... I'm sorry, that's all I can say. - She spoke with a little sadness.

\- Dammit! Nor it is encouraging... - The blonde rested her elbow on the desk and put her head in her hand. - You... could you give me the name of who is in the ICU? So, at least I could find out if it's her and... -

Arizona didn't know why she needed to know about the woman she helped, and tried to convince herself that it was all a matter of humanity. But now she needed to know that the woman hadn't died. Maybe see her and make sure she was alive, that feeling inside her chest would disappear.

Sally saw real concern in Arizona, but she had already done enough. Giving information that way that wasn't allowed and could endanger her work. As much as she wanted to help the woman, she couldn't do more. - Sorry, I can't do more. - Arizona looked away wanting to find something to say to convince her.

\- I... you... - Sally took one of Arizona's hands, there was something about the blond woman, or the situation, that had caused her empathy and the desire to help when she arrived.

\- Sorry... - The blonde nodded resignedly. - That's all I can do... - Sally squeezed her hand and then let go. - I hope I helped a little... - The woman left to give Arizona a minute, because she seemed to be with her emotions in conflict.

When Sally took her hand, Arizona sighed and nodded resignedly. She had understood that she shouldn't insist. However, she was surprised when the other woman squeezed her hand and felt something in palm of her hand. The blonde looked confused, but she clenched her fist without asking anything and looked her with gratitude. Then she walked quickly with her fist closed, and when she was out of the hospital, she sat on a nearby bench. She took a deep breath, opened the small piece of paper and she read aloud. - Calliope Torres, 2nd floor, ICU, 221. – The heart of Arizona jumped without knowing why when she read the written words. - Is it her? - Her eyes were trapped in the written name.

Arizona didn't know why she felt that way, she didn't understand why she felt the need to know if it was the woman who helped. She didn't know why it was so important to know if she was alive. There was something inside her that had been restless since the day she left the emergency room, and she thought that going to hospital to have some information would be enough. But now she was there, with a thousand different sensations, and with the fear she had died.

Now she just had to find out if Calliope Torres was the woman who helped in that accident, and maybe all that feeling would disappear if she were still alive.

"Calliope Torres", she repeated in her mind. Was it possible that she was the same woman?

She expected to know soon, she needed to return to normalcy and tranquillity.

. . .


	3. Chapter 3

.

After spending some time outside the hospital, Arizona debated with herself whether or not she should know about what happened to the woman who accompanied to the emergency room two days ago. She didn't understand the feeling inside her, a constant worry that kept her restless.

She wasn't sure what to do. A patient in such circumstances would probably be with her family and doctors around. If Arizona could see her, it would be a matter of luck, but if she didn't try she would still feel the same way. Therefore, all she needed to know was that it was the same woman and that she was fine, or so she said.

Then, without being very conscious, she had made a decision, and her feet had begun to move autonomously. "Calliope Torres", that's what her mind repeated again and again as she made her way to the second floor of the hospital. Finally, she would know if that name belonged to the person who couldn't get out of her head.

. . .

When the elevator doors opened, Arizona sighed and walked out slowly as she looked around. She wasn't a relative, so it would be difficult to get close to her room, but there was nothing to lose.

It wasn't long when she was standing in front of room 221. The door to the room was open and she looked around before her next move. Nobody seemed to notice her presence or at least it wasn't a problem for anyone.

Arizona was very nervous, she felt expectant, as if something very important was about to happen, but she didn't understand the reason, because that woman was simply a stranger. Trying to leave her nervousness behind, she moved a little closer to the door and realized that there was no one with her. It was now or never, she thought.

She steeled herself to enter, but as soon as her feet were inside, she closed her eyes. Suddenly, she didn't want to look, she was afraid. Her heart contracted with the idea that another woman's image would appear before her, and for some unknown reason, she begged that it wasn't the case.

Fighting with her fears, Arizona opened her eyes, approached the patient and, with fear, looked at the body lying on the bed. - It's you. - A smile of relief crossed her face, and her heart jumped when she realized it was the same woman. - And your name is Calliope. -

The woman's condition didn't seem auspicious, but still, Arizona silently thanked that she was still alive, because even when she seemed to be struggling, that must mean something good. She was relieved to know that she wasn't dead, it was as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Maybe having left without waiting to know her condition was what had kept her in that uneasiness.

There were many more thoughts rolling in her head, but she was sure that was what she needed to get back to her center. She put her hand on the other woman and spoke to her a low voice. - I'm so sorry about what happened to you, Calliope. I hope you can get out of this. - She was silent for a moment. - I would like to be able to help you, but it is not in my hands. - The blonde smiled sadly. - I don't even know you... but I hope things improve for you. -

Arizona kept silent for a moment longer and after giving her one last look, she walked for the door. Then, a soft voice stopped her, "Don't go". She turned quickly and looked at Calliope, but immediately dismissed what it seemed in the first instance because it was impossible for that woman to speak. She blamed her mind tired and smiled nervously. She shook her head, was getting too involved and had to leave soon.

\- Excuse me, who are you? - Arizona looked at the door.

\- Sorry, I was leaving. - The man in the white coat looked at her.

\- Do you know her? - Arizona seemed confused.

\- No, I just wanted to know if she was okay. - The doctor raised an eyebrow without understanding why she was there.

\- I thought we finally contacted someone... Well, anyway, you shouldn't be here. -

\- Yes, I know, I'm sorry... - Arizona couldn't help but ask something before leaving. - You say no one knows about her condition? How is that possible?

\- We only have a contact number and we couldn't communicate. - The man spoke without realizing that he had revealed personal information to someone unknown to the patient.

\- That's regrettable. It's sad that she has no one by her side in her condition. - A feeling of empathy lodged inside her. - May I ask, what's her condition? - The man thought if he should share this information with her, he had already said enough. But the woman seemed really worried, and he didn't understand why.

\- She's in an induced coma, waiting for the inflammation of her brain to decrease, and that the treatment that we have been applying, works... but I can't give more details. - The doctor was silent before speaking again. - Are you worried about her and you don't know her? - That was a curiosity he had.

\- Mmm... - The blonde decided to explain what had happened. - I met with the accident on the road, and I called 911. I accompanied her here and then I left... for some strange reason, I needed to know about her, and I'm here... but I already have what I wanted, so... I'm sorry for entering without authorization, I'm leaving now.

The man thought about everything Arizona said and something went through his mind. He knew that maybe it was crazy, but he still asked. - Look, I know what I'm going to say may sound strange, and it's far from being the protocol of this hospital... but given the circumstances... - Silence. - If you want to see her again, I can add you to the list of contact, so you can enter without problems... sometimes, for these patients it's good to have company and feel that someone who cares for them. You'd be surprised by the results in the patients who came out of the coma with this influencing factor... - The man paused to gauge her reaction. - I realized that you care sincerely, and maybe it would be beneficial... -

\- She doesn't even know me. - Arizona didn't let him finish speaking, and smiled at the doctor's proposal, shaking her head in disbelief. - And I can't be responsible for something like this...

\- No! Don't get me wrong, it wasn't my intention... it's not being responsible for her... it's just... - The blonde interrupted again.

\- I can't go back... I should go... I'm sorry. - The woman began to walk very nervous, but before leaving the room, the man speak again.

\- I'm Doctor Mackenzie, come see me if you change your mind. - He saw how the blonde disappeared before his eyes, and turned to Callie. - You'll be fine... just... don't give up. –

Doctor Mackenzie was especially worried about Callie. He believed that in health problems, the reactions of the complex human system, both in survival or recovery, had much to do with the patient's environment, and not everything was absolutely linked to science. For the same reason, he talked to her regularly and tried to give her some comfort, but he knew that he was still her doctor and the woman needed more than that.

For Arizona, today had been a strangely emotional and exhausting day, she needed to rest and get away from that situation. She already had the answer she was looking for, and she shouldn't get involved anymore, that should be enough.

. . .

Callie was at a complete loss about what to do, or what to expect. She saw her body without any reaction and felt something inside her holding her in that state. She thought that maybe she had nothing to fight for and her body had given up. She didn't understand how in all this time nobody had come for her.

She had no idea how much time had been passed, but she felt like it was a lot. Callie thought about the other patients, there was no one on the floor who was completely alone, because there was always someone who was with them at least for a moment in the day. It was logical that if that person was important to someone, there would be people around them. For the same reason, she told herself that maybe it wasn't important to anyone, or maybe she was alone in life.

With the passage of time and all the weight of being there, Callie was discouraged and sad. She wondered what she had done so badly to deserve this loneliness. She was analysing the situation too much, but she had nothing else to do, so her head went through several scenarios.

Callie was debating with herself and struggling with her thoughts, when a movement at the door caught her attention, someone was outside. Her eyesight stopped at the door waiting for someone to enter. She thought it would be her doctors, and that she would finally know what was going on with her. Callie hadn't had a chance to know, because every time she was in the room she was alone. The nurses came to check some things, the doctors looked at her statistics, and occasionally one of them spoke her, but she hadn't heard of her medical condition.

The person who had been outside finally entered, and Callie was surprised to see a woman she didn't know, but for some reason encouraged her. She wasn't wearing a hospital gown, maybe she was a member of the family or someone close to her and maybe she wouldn't be so alone anymore, someone would care about her.

Callie looked at the woman and could feel the nervousness in her. She saw the woman approaching and paid attention when she began to speak. It was then that she realized that the woman didn't know her and her heart was disappointed. Despite calling her by name, it wasn't something strange for Callie, because there were people who used to visit the sick, and maybe she was dedicated to that.

Callie was lost in thoughts when the woman turned to leave and she spoke without being very aware of it, she couldn't bear to be alone again. - Do not go. - That was all she said, defeated, and in a plea.

With disbelief, she saw how the woman suddenly turned to see who had spoken. - Hey! Can you heard me? - Callie spoke enthusiastically, but this time she didn't have a reaction in the other woman.

The blonde shook her head, not understanding, not believing what had happened. But something told Callie that she had heard her, but she didn't know how it was possible, much less how she could repeat it.

In the other woman's face was a strange expression, Callie could see that the blonde didn't want to stay there and that disappointed her. But when the blonde was about to leave, the most recognized doctor for her arrived and spoke.

In this way, Callie discovered something about her medical condition and how they hadn't been able to contact anyone close to her. She felt a great sadness, especially when the woman responded to the idea of the doctor, with a refusal. But Callie understood, she didn't know her, it wasn't her responsibility, and she didn't have to do it. She was grateful for the concern, for getting there, and accepted with resignation her present.

When the woman left, Callie remembered something. "I've seen you before". She didn't know where, but Callie came out behind her wanting to talk to her, and tried a thousand ways while the woman walked.

\- Please, don't go, I need your help. - Callie walked beside her. - You can hear me, I know, but I don't know how to do it right now, or how it was possible to do it. - Callie felt a tremendous impotence, saw the woman quickly entered the elevator and the brunette just gave up. - This is crap! - She took her head in her hands and sobbed. - I just want this to end. -

. . .


	4. Chapter 4

.

Running was rewarding for Arizona. Feel her breathing, the heartbeat, the wind hitting her face and the constant rhythm of the movement of her legs, caused in her a sense of connection with herself and a disconnection from everyday life. It wasn't something she did every day, but sometimes her mind needed it and today was one of those days. She had gotten up early and made her usual route. She had to clear her mind and then go to work, yesterday had been a tiring day, full of emotions and mixed feelings.

\- You're back! - A woman spoke from the kitchen when she heard Arizona enter the house. - How was your run?

\- Great! I'll take a quick shower and have breakfast together. - The blonde spoke while going to the room.

\- Of course, just hurry up, it's almost ready.

. . .

When Arizona was ready, she joined the other woman who was in the kitchen. They both remained silent as they shared breakfast, each in their own world. Arizona drank from her coffee lost in her thoughts, while the other woman was reading the newspaper.

The woman who was immersed in newspaper knew that Arizona had something on her mind, so without looking up from the newspaper, she spoke. - Where is your mind today?

\- What? - Arizona had listened the other woman, but couldn't know what she had asked.

\- Where is your mind? - The woman looked at the blonde carefully. - It seems you're somewhere else. - She closed the newspaper and took a sip of tea.

\- Oh! I was just... thinking... - The other woman raised her eyebrows urging her to continue. - It's nothing... I have to see how things are going in Battleship, yesterday I didn't go to all day. - She spoke wanting to change the direction of the conversation. - I have to check some orders, we are extending the terrace and I want to see how it goes. - Arizona wasn't a person who opened up with her feelings easily, so she always avoided the most personal questions.

\- Are you still worried about the woman in the accident? - Arizona wasn't surprised by the question, she knew that the other woman would arrive there. She had told her something about it, but didn't want to talk about it. However, she knew that the other woman would insist again.

\- I went to see her yesterday, I couldn't help it... she's in a coma... - The blonde sighed at the thought of Calliope.

\- That's not good, but already you know about her, so you should be calm. That you stayed with her that day wouldn't have changed her condition. -

\- I know. -

\- Is something else happening? - The woman knew there was something more.

\- Not, all it's fine.

Arizona thought about what she said but there was something that didn't feel right. She had kept awake thinking about Calliope and the doctor's words couldn't get out of her head. She told herself that she couldn't get involved that way with someone she didn't know, and she shouldn't let that affect her. Saying it and doing it were two completely different things, but she had to get completely away from that woman. She couldn't get carried away by compassion, she had her own life to take care of.

The other woman knew that the situation was affecting Arizona, but she didn't understand the reason, that woman was a complete stranger. It was okay to worry, but jumping from there to the way it affected the blonde was too much. - I don't think it's totally true. - Her words woke the blonde of her thoughts. - I feel that there is something you don't want to tell me, it seems that this woman has entered into your mind more than you want. - Arizona looked up from the coffee.

\- I was worried, but I already know about her, and that's all... but I think of her condition... it's a shame... she seems to be a young woman... nobody should be in this situation. -

\- Are you sure that's all?

\- Of course. - She paused. - Mumm... it's sad that Calliope has no one by her side. - The other woman realized, that she was no longer the woman of the accident, now she had a name.

\- Now she has a name? You have worked hard to find out about her. -

\- Yep, she has a name... - Arizona sighed deeply, drank her coffee, and after a long silence, she added. - Calliope Torres... that's her name.

The other woman immediately felt her heart paralyzed by the blonde's words, and her mind moved away from what they were talking about. She knew that name very well, and when she heard the name the first time, she thought it was just a coincidence of names, but now... Calliope Torres? It was a coincidence?

Arizona noticed the change in another woman's face. - Elis, what's wrong? - The old woman didn't respond. - Grandma? - This time she called her like she never did, but it didn't work. - You're good? You're worrying me. - The old woman didn't answer and Arizona approached her carefully. She took her hands and spoke softly. - Elis... is everything okay? - The woman looked up slowly and spoke with fear.

\- What's her name? - Arizona didn't understanding what was happening, but repeated it.

\- Calliope Torres. -

\- Oh God... it must be just a coincidence of the name... right? -

\- Why? Do you know someone with that name? -

\- I haven't heard that name for years. -

\- Who is she? Do you think is can be the same person? -

\- I don't know... she lived in the house next door. - Arizona immediately thought of the house abandoned. Since she went to live with Elis that house was uninhabited. - She left, and I never hear from her again. -

\- How old was she? -

\- She must be somewhat older than you, but just a little more. - Arizona thought it matched what she thought was Calliope's age.

\- Elis, what if it's the same person? It will be for this reason that I haven't been able to get her out of my head? Maybe everything that happened for a reason... - Arizona's mind went from one place to another. - Maybe it's because she doesn't have anyone else and she needs you... we should see... you should know if she is or not. - The blonde continued with her explosion of possibilities. - Wait a moment... and her family? Maybe you can communicate with them, because until now the hospital hasn't been able to contact anyone. - Elis listened to everything her granddaughter said, but she couldn't process it clearly.

\- I don't think I can. - That's all she said.

\- Why? -

\- I don't know about her father years ago, her mother died, and she had no brothers.

\- So, let's go.

Arizona was totally anxious, with an infinity of different feelings inside her. For a moment she believed that everything she had been living, feeling and experiencing was because Elis knew her, and maybe that was the connection. Arizona could never have believed or given credit to such a thing, but now, she couldn't wait to see what it was about.

. . .

As soon as they could, the two women went to the hospital. Elis was afraid of what she would find and her heart was tight. She loved that woman, she had felt her departure and she was hurt, but none of that mattered now.

On the other hand, Arizona thought it would be crazy if it turned out to be the same woman, and she didn't understand how something like that could happen. Was it just a coincidence, or something else? She didn't know what to think.

Arizona saw Doctor Mackenzie inside the room when they stopped outside and decided to talk to him first. - Give me a minute, I'll talk to the doctor. - Elis nodded and sat outside waiting.

She was going to cross the door when realized that the doctor was examining Calliope, so she turned to wait outside. - You're back. –

Yes, I'm back. - Arizona responded and then turned around. The doctor looked towards the door when he heard the blonde's voice.

\- Hey, I didn't realize you were here. - The confused blonde looked at him, it was he who spoke with her, or so she had thought, but she didn't give more importance.

Callie had been watching to the doctor when she realized that someone was entering. She was surprised when she saw the blonde woman from the previous day and in the emotion her voice had escaped. She knew that the man never opened his mouth, so she was sure the woman had been able to hear to her again. - Hey! It's me who spoke. - She had seen the blonde's reaction the first time, but didn't get the same result. What made it possible for that to happen? And why doing it again doesn't work?

\- I wanted to talk to you. - Arizona spoke without being aware of the other woman's attempts.

\- Do you change your mind?

\- Something happened... - Arizona began to explain everything to the doctor, and Callie was attentive to what the woman said. When she mentioned Elis, and knew that she was her granddaughter, everything came to mind. She remembered where she had seen her before... she was the woman who came to Elis's house the day it all started.

\- It's okay. - The man said. - Let's see immediately if this is a great coincidence, or what.

Arizona went in search of Elis, while Callie waited impatiently. What the blonde had said was crazy, but Callie wanted to think that everything was for a reason.

Elis walked slowly with her granddaughter and approached the bed, Arizona didn't leave her hand at any time. - Oh my God. - Elis covered her mouth with her free hand, and the tears came. Arizona didn't have to ask.

The old woman let go of Arizona's hand, approached Callie's body and took her hand. - What happened to you, honey? Why do I have to see you like this? - The doctor observed the scene and decided to give them some privacy.

Arizona approached Elis, she was afraid that the old woman couldn't resist so many emotions. Callie was excited to feel Elis's affection, and she couldn't help feel guilty for the pain that could be seen in her face. - I'm sorry, Elis. - That was what came out in a whisper.

Arizona couldn't help but wonder why they hadn't seen or communicated for so long. She saw Elis's pain and began judging the other woman harshly, but when she heard a soft whisper, her thoughts stopped. "I'm sorry, Elis".

She immediately looked at Calliope's body on the bed, what had that been?

She shook her head quickly, Calliope was unconscious, unchanged, and it was only her head playing with her.

Callie wasn't oblivious to Arizona's reaction and this time she spoke consciously. - It's me... I think you can hear me... -

Callie waited but nothing happening, and she realized that something was influencing the fact that she heard, or not, but she didn't know what it was. Maybe if she could find out, she could talk to Elis. Maybe that was one of the reasons why she was there, in this situation. She had things pending in that place.

. . .

Time passed and when the doctor came back they spoke for a moment. Elis had decided to take care of Callie, because she wouldn't leave her to her fate. But now, she had to go home, the years hadn't passed in vain, and that day was wreaking havoc on her body.

\- We'll take care of her until someone shows up... although I don't know if there is anyone in her life... it doesn't matter. - The old woman looked at the blonde while she spoke. - Arizona will give you all our information. - The man nodded.

Before leaving, Elis kissed Callie's forehead. - Everything will be fine honey, we'll be back... you're not alone. - Callie smiled, she didn't know for sure, but a gesture of affection seemed to be all what she needed for a long time.

Arizona waited until Elis and the doctor left the room to approach. She looked at her for a moment and spoke without any intention. - See you later, Calliope. - Then she left.

Callie was grateful that the woman had paid attention to her feelings when she decided to find out about her, because otherwise Elis had never come to her. She smiled knowing that the woman now had a name and was no longer a stranger. - See you, Arizona. Thanks for everything. - Callie's words came out unconsciously this time.

Arizona was going out the door when she hear the voice again. She stopped abruptly, but didn't turn around. Her heart quickened and a chill ran down her spine. She told herself once again that her mind was playing with her, but there was something that made her struggle with that thought, even if she didn't want to admit it. - There's nothi... - She wasn't sure why she had spoken, but she quickly realized how bad her head was, and without finishing speaking she quickly left without looking back.

Callie froze, Arizona had heard her again, but this time she had responded. How did that happen? Was it random? Many thoughts crossed her mind, but this time there was no despair, there was something that gave her peace of mind. They would return tomorrow, after all, she wasn't so alone.

. . .


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to everyone who is reading my story. I appreciate every follow, fav and reviews.

I'm sorry for all the mistakes, but English is not my language and I'm trying to do my best.

* * *

Four days. Those were the days that had passed since Callie had been admitted to the hospital.

Until yesterday, she wasn't aware of the time, but now things had taken a little more _sense_ and many things had been clarified since the visit of Elis and Arizona.

Callie didn't know if the day she suddenly found herself on the beach coincided with the day of the accident and her admission to the hospital. However, that was the first memory she had about this situation.

She didn't know how she had reached the corridors of the hospital, but one thing was for sure, or at least that's what she thought, things didn't happen by magic or something irrational. Everything was the same as always, except that nothing was the same, if that could be understood.

Callie tried many times to understand what was happening with her, but she didn't know how to explain it. She constantly wondered what she is or where she was. Something inside her knew, but her analytical mind tried to bring logic and reason.

She saw herself as a moving body, and she also saw her body in the hospital bed. She knew she couldn't touch people, nor be seen by them, but recently she discovered that she could be heard. All her senses worked, but she couldn't understand how it was possible that her interactions with the environment weren't visible to others.

Callie needed answers. She as a thinking, rational and conscious being, she wanted explanations. But all the answers pointed to an unknown level, which escaped the logical and was probably far from any scientific basis.

Maybe, she was energy, an immaterial being, or something like a spiritual body that was in transition from life to death. In a place of passage where consciousness, essence and memories continued. A space similar to reality, but independent of it.

Callie's mind stopped for a moment when she thought about it and, little by little, she felt as if all the points were connecting. Then, her heart knew with certainty where she was and fear seized her.

From the beginning she had felt as if something inside her was slowly faded away with each passing moment, and now she wondered if that meant her death was near.

Callie knew that anyone who tried to explain that as something possible would probably be called a madman, but she knew there were things that simply couldn't be explained because they go beyond reasoning.

Then her questions changed course. Why does the universe, or whatever move us, allow it? What makes it possible? What was the reason? Did we all go through that when death was near? Was it a transitory place, an inevitable and irrevocable step, between life and death? Was it reversible or was it not possible to return? Could she remembered that if she woke up?

Many questions crossed Callie's mind and all she wanted to do was turn off her brain.

Maybe she shouldn't ask any more questions and she just had to wait to see what this _journey_ meant.

. . .

Today was day 4. Now Callie knew it and for the first time she was really aware of time. Yesterday she had saw how the day became night and then saw the dawn, knowing what that meant. That was the most incredible thing she had experienced after a time that seemed eternal, because from the moment she realized where she was, she felt trapped between confusions, fears and doubts, without being aware of anything else.

Now, aware of her situation, but still with the uncertainty and fears about not knowing what would happen to her, she tried to keep everything that afflicted her away from her mind and concentrate on other things as much as she could. That's why she waited anxiously for the time to pass quickly. She wanted to see Elis and Arizona again.

. . .

Callie was returning from one of her tours when she saw one of the women she'd been waiting for, and a wide smile spread across her face. She quickly approached the woman and realized she was come alone. She walked beside the woman to accompany her and, while looking at her, asked. - What about Elis? - She didn't receive answer. - You're not listening... - She sighed resignedly while thinking.

"What do I have to do so you can hear me?" That thought accompanied her as they walked, with Arizona totally unaware that she had company.

. . .

It was quite late when Arizona finally arrived at the hospital. She had had a very busy day, and hadn't been able to go early. However, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about what she had experienced the day before when she left Calliope's room.

Her mind had been in a constant struggle throughout the day. She didn't understand why she had acted like a madwoman. It was true, for a moment, she didn't think and simply responded as something natural, but as soon as she realized what she was doing, she got angry with herself and ran away.

Today, calmer, and with time to think about it, she alluded to her tired mind and the fact that she was getting too involved in the situation. Arizona would have wanted to stop visiting the woman, but now that Elis was involved in the equation it was impossible.

Elis hadn't had a good night, she was older and couldn't risk her health, and she insisted that Arizona couldn't stop doing it. Therefore, she had promised to visit Calliope, despite her apprehensions.

Arizona was lost in her thoughts when she arrived her destination. She stopped at the door, took a deep breath and entered. Quietly and carefully, not knowing what to do, she approached the bed where Calliope's unconscious body lay.

She wondered if she should sit next to her or stand, talk or remain silent, touch her or not. She was surprised by her own attitude. She was never so clumsy, but the whole situation was causing insecurity in her.

Arizona was nervous and knew that she should calm down. So she take a deep breath, looked at Calliope's face, and against all odds, decided to speak. - Hi... - She coughed to clear her throat and looked towards the door in case there was someone nearby, she didn't want to seem crazy. - Mumm... I... - She smiled and shook head, didn't understand why she had decided to speak. - I'm sorry... Elis couldn't come with me... I don't know if it's the same, but here I am. – When she finished saying those words, she realized she didn't have to worry. She was only transmitting concern and care to someone who needed it, and there was nothing strange, or crazy, about that.

. . .

Callie had stood at the door while Arizona entered the room. She smiled at Arizona's nervousness, when at first she didn't know what to do and then she spoke a little embarrassed. But when Callie knew that Elis wasn't well, she immediately became worried and her mood sank.

She wanted to ask for Elis, but she knew that Arizona couldn't hear her. She put her hands on her hips, frowned and turned back to the hall. - Shit! How do I make you listen to me? - Inadvertently, her thoughts came out while she looked down and tried to think.

. . .

Arizona with the clearest ideas had decided not to think so much and simply do what felt good, but then something happened, and she shake her head. - Dammit! - Arizona scolded herself. - What the hell is going on with me? - She couldn't help speaking out loud.

It was happening again, she was hearing voices as if they were in her head, and she was angry to allow herself to reach to those extremes. - This is the last thing I needed, to hear voices. - She sighed in frustration, she needed to do something to disconnect herself from that situation, because otherwise she would end up going crazy.

Callie turned quickly to the blonde. - Do you really hear to me? - She knew that her second words hadn't come to Arizona, and wanted to know what was different between the times she heard and didn't. After a moment, Callie realized that every time Arizona listened to her, it was when she spoke without being realizing it, when she wasn't waiting for her attention.

She would try again, she had to talk without forced herself to be heard. She just had to talk as if she were there, without thinking she was somewhere else, or couldn't be seen. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and connected with herself, leaving what was around her. She talked more to herself than for the blonde. - There are no voices in your head, it's me.

Arizona lifted her head and laughed without humor, then squeezed her eyes tightly. - God! This it's crazy... - She shook her head impotently, as if trying to get that voice out of her head. - This isn't possible, it's just my head. - Callie was surprised when she succeeded.

\- It isn't your head, it's me. - The brunette waited while Arizona fought.

Arizona didn't want to respond, didn't want to give credit. She thought that if she said something else, she would be giving credit to that madness. - How could something like this be possible? How is... - She didn't finish speaking when she realized that her thoughts had come out of her mouth, she was baffled.

\- I don't know. - Callie wanted more answers, and desperately wanted Arizona to believe in what was happening, but she didn't know what to do.

Arizona felt confused, took a few breaths to calm herself, and took a moment. She looked at the body on the bed and put her hand over Callie's hand. - This is crazy... Calliope, this can't be true... no... - The brunette smiled and interrupted her.

\- I'd rather be called by Callie. - She smiled, she hadn't heard her full name for a long time until Arizona arrived the first time. Callie was able to feel the confusion, uncertainty and fear of the other woman, so she left behind jokes. - I don't know how it is possible, but I don't speak from there... - The other woman looked up and straightened up. - I'm near the door... - Arizona quickly turned around, but obviously didn't saw nothing.

Arizona pressed hard and despair her temple. - This isn't real, it's my head. - She shook head in all directions. - I'm going crazy. -

\- No, you're not... - Callie wanted to reassure her, and she spoke with a soft voice. - Just calm down... I'm here, but you can't see me... - The blonde looked at Callie's body, wanted to end her madness. Calliope was unconscious and in a hospital bed, that was the truth.

\- Callio... - Arizona was going to talk to Callie's body, but the brunette interrupted her.

\- That's... Ask to Elis how everyone calls me. How can your head tell you something like this, if you don't know me?

\- I have to go. - Arizona didn't feel able to continue there.

\- But no... - The brunette felt sad, but she shouldn't insist. - You will come back?

Arizona didn't respond, she left without saying a word, this was too much for her. How was it possible? No, it wasn't. That was her thought. She just needed to go out and relax, be away from everything for a moment.

Callie was silent knowing that Arizona had to calm down. She didn't say anything else and saw her when she left, but then Callie went after her. She knew she was violating Arizona's privacy. She was being too intrusive, and she couldn't follow her anywhere without her knowledge. However, Callie couldn't stop and walked beside her.

. . .

Arizona walked for a long time before arriving home. She hadn't wanted to take a taxi even when it would take longer to get there, but she needed the fresh air and the walk could help her clear her mind.

When she finally arrived and entered the house, she heard a noise coming from the kitchen. It was quite late and caught her attention because Elis must be at rest. Carefully, and a little fearful, she approached.

\- Elis, what are you doing? – Arizona didn't know what she expected to see, but for some reason she let out a sing of relief when she saw the woman.

\- Honey, you're here. - Elis turned to look at her. - Have you see Callie?

\- Yes, but only for a moment... I couldn't go earlier. - She didn't wanted to talk about her visit to the hospital, but she had to.

\- Okay, at least you passed. Have you talked to any of her doctors? - Arizona hadn't even thought about it with everything that happened.

\- No, as I said it was a quick visit... but I'll find out tomorrow. - Arizona was silent for a moment, then, a little unsure, she spoke again. - Why do you say, Callie?

The old woman smiled. - I only told her, Calliope, when I scolded her. She didn't like being called like that, and everyone knew her by Callie.

Arizona was surprised by the response. Her heart jumped and rushed, she didn't want to believe that everything experienced was possible.

\- I told you. - Callie spoke suddenly.

\- What are you doing here? - Arizona said with annoyance, but only when her words came out of her mouth, she realized that Elis looked at her a little confused.

\- You're talking to me?

\- Of course, with whom else? You shouldn't be here, you should be resting. - Arizona tried to fix what she had said, and the old woman looked at her strangely.

\- I only came by the water. - Elis showed the glass with her face full of doubts. She realized that something was wrong with Arizona, but she didn't say anything else. - I was going to my room, goodnight. - She walked and she touched her shoulder affectionately.

\- Goodnight, Elis. I hope you rest... - Arizona spoke wearily, and when the other woman left, she turned off the lights while growling in frustration.

. . .

When Arizona entered her room, she went straight to the closet in search of comfortable clothes for the night. She took off her blouse and pulled a cotton shirt from the closet.

\- It's true. - The blonde covered herself quickly.

\- You shouldn't be here, this is my room. - She covered her face with her shirt, as if she were drowning the words. - God! Whom am I talking to? You're not real, I'm just tired and... I can undress without problems, because there's no one here. -

Callie didn't know what to say. What the blonde said made her a laugh, but she also felt empathy for what was happening. She imagined the mental disorder that Arizona had, because she herself had. - And? Are not you going to undress? - Callie joked. - If there's no one here, you shouldn't worry.

Arizona said some incomprehensible words and she dropped face down on the bed, burying her face in the pillow, she couldn't deal with it. - Just go away! Out of my head! - She said it almost crying, and Callie felt bad for provoking her.

\- Sorry, I didn't want ... - Silence. - Okay, I'll leave... - Callie was leaving when she decided to say something else. - When you're calmer and if you really want to see if all this is true, go to my house. There's a flowerpot next to the back door of the kitchen and there's a key underneath... maybe you can convince yourself that this is real, and you're not going crazy. - After a pause, she added. - How can you know that? - Callie finished speaking and left immediately.

. . .

Arizona took a long shower. She had so much in her mind that she thought hot water would help clear things up, maybe even relax her. She didn't know how many minutes she'd been under water, but definitely didn't help her. Then, while dressing, she made a decision. She was going to Callie's house, she was determined to put an end to everything, and if her head was playing with her, it was impossible for that key to exist.

She went out into the courtyard and walked to the fence that faced the adjoining courtyard. She looked around, wondering if what she was going to do was right or not, and without thinking much more, she jumped to the other side.

Arizona stopped and glanced at the flowerpots near the door and approached uncertainly. After checking one by one, she froze when, under one of them, she found a key.

She watched the key between in her fingers trying to convince herself it was real. She took a deep breath, opened the door and walked slowly inside. She watched with difficulty in the darkness, until she found a light switch and turned it on.

\- You came. - Arizona startled at hearing the voice, but didn't panicked. She just nodded, unable to continue denying the obvious. - I'm sorry, I never wanted to put you in this situation... you're the only one who can hear me, and I have no idea why... I know it just happens. - Arizona remained in silent. - I understand if you don't want to be around... and... I just... I will not bother you anymore.

\- I... - The blonde fell into a long silence, then spoke again. - I don't even know how to explain this to me, everything is so confusing, and crazy... - Arizona was standing and waving her hands to speak. - How can this be possible? - She was resigned, everything was real.

\- I don't know, I have no idea... I only know that I'm here, and having no answers frustrates me. - Callie took a long pause and then continued. - I'd like to know what's happening with me... sometimes I think it is because I'm dying... - The brunette's words faded slowly.

Arizona felt the fear and sadness in Callie's words, understood the silence in which she stayed and stopped moving. If this was a big problem for her, she imagined what Callie might be feeling or experiencing. They were silent for a while, the blonde sat on a sofa, and brought her knees to her chest.

\- Where are you? - Arizona spoke more resigned to what was happening.

\- On the sofa in front of you, next to the lamp. -

\- I'd like to see you, it would be easier. - She needed more than a voice to convince completely.

\- I know... - They stayed a moment in their own meditations and conjectures.

\- Where are you from? Why did you leave this place? What about your family, or people close to you? - Suddenly, Arizona broke the silence with an explosion of questions.

\- Where am I from? I'm from here, but I left a few years ago... but I don't know where, I haven't been able to remember... - Silence. - My family seems to be a difficult subject, I don't know what it is, but I suppose it has to do with my return to the city.

\- And you don't have anyone else? - Arizona had many questions.

\- I don't know... - That was Callie's recurring response, and she hated not knowing anything about that part of her life. - Everything about my recent life is a blur in my mind, I don't remember. I know there are people, but I can't remember... I feel some things, but I can't specify what is... -

\- Why do you think I can hear you? - Arizona looked like a child with too many questions.

\- I guess there's some connection with Elis and the reason you came to me in the accident... but it's just assumptions. -

\- This is so strange... Can you move around? How do you do it? -

Callie filled her lungs in a sigh, Arizona had so many questions, that she wondered before, and she didn't want to keep answering, but she knew the blonde needed. - I see myself, and I see everything around me... everything is as always, but I don't understand how you can't see me doing this. - The brunette shook the lamp wire.

\- No, I don't see anything... but how can I hear you? -

\- So many questions, and so few answers that I have... -

Arizona noticed the weariness of Callie's voice, and decided not to continue questioning. She also felt that her own exhaustion was taking its toll on her body.

\- I should be going. - Arizona broke the brunette's thoughts.

\- I see you tomorrow? - Callie spoke in a more vulnerable tone than she intended.

\- We'll go in the afternoon. - The blonde looked at the sofa where Callie was.

\- I get it. - The brunette said with disappointment.

\- I can't go early, I have work and... I have to go... bye, Callio... Callie. - Callie smiled at the correction.

\- It's okay, have a rest.

. . .

\- Day 5 -

Callie was sitting on the rooftop of the building and she didn't know how long she had been there. She had arrived there when the sun was rising and in ecstatic she had remained contemplating the view.

She knew that Elis and Arizona would visit her in the afternoon. So all she had to do was kill the time until they arrived, because within her list of things to do, there wasn't much. Rather, everything felt a bit monotonous and inert, except the night before, when she spoke to Arizona, because she had felt alive. Interact with someone, and that someone knew she was real, gave her a sense of existence.

. . .

The night before, Arizona hadn't slept much. She tried to process everything she had experienced and tried to understand what was happening. The answers were not many, but at least she accepted that part of Callie was there. She didn't know how to explain it, but she knew or already felt it was real.

Today the blonde had had a busy day, but her mind was always between Callie and all this madness. However, that didn't stop her from catching up with everything she had to do, and as soon as she saw the opportunity to leave, she went for Elis. She wanted to know more about what was going on and she couldn't wait, she needed to _see_ Callie.

. . .

Callie would have liked the time to pass quickly today, but the time was a real frustration. She had been walking from one place to another, and nothing eased the anxiety of waiting. But things had changed in a second. Now she was there with a silly smile playing on her face when she saw the two women who had been waiting to enter her room.

\- You came. - It was what came out of her lips as they approached.

Elis stayed next the bed Callie and Arizona a little behind. She smiled to herself when she heard Callie speak, but she didn't know how to respond without looking awkward in front of Elis. She just nodded because she knew that Callie could see her.

The brunette knew she had heard her and was glad to see her calm. - How's Elis?

\- Better. - Arizona responded without realizing it.

\- Better? - The oldest woman asked as she turned to look at Arizona.

\- Yes, mmm... I'd better go have a coffee... - Callie smiled amused by the response.

\- Okay, go. - Elis said and focused on Callie.

. . .

Arizona walked down the hall, not knowing if Callie was nearby, looked around and when she saw no one pay attention, she spoke. - You are close?

\- Yep, to your right. - The blonde looked in that direction by inertia, she couldn't get used to that situation. - So Elis is better?

\- Yes, she just needed a rest... but even if it had been something else, I'm sure she wouldn't have stayed home again.

\- Yes, she's stubborn. - The brunette smiled to remember Elis.

\- Apparently, you know each other well. - Arizona sat down, not far from the room.

Arizona was curious, in fact, she was always curious about the house next door. About who owned the property or why it was abandoned in a place where surplus value was high, and it wasn't normal to see an empty house. Since her arriving in the city, almost four years ago, she never saw anyone approaching the property. Also, every time the blonde asked Elis, she didn't say much and, obviously, never mentioned that she was close to anyone from there. But now that she knew something else, and her curiosity grew.

Callie thought about Elis and the way they were close in the past. She regretted not having kept in touch with Elis, but when she left, she didn't look back, and then... well, she didn't remember much. - Yes, we were. –

\- Why you left? - Arizona realized that some people were staring at her when she spoke, blushed with embarrassment and coughed to hide the sound of her words.

\- I don't want to talk about it, I'm sorry... everything is still a bit confusing... -

Arizona covered her mouth with hand. - I understand, that's fine. - She paused, and spoke again. - Everyone looks at me like I'm crazy.

Callie looked around and couldn't help the laughter that came out of her, but she had an idea. - Take out your cell phone. - The blonde gave a strange look. - Just act like you're talking to someone. - Arizona raised her eyebrows, and she did.

A little embarrassed, Arizona took her cell phone in her ear, and as natural as possible spoke again. She soon realized that the glances disappeared.

After a while, the conversation between the two women was a little less uncomfortable and more relaxed, and Arizona felt better.

\- You're very smart Calliope. - The blonde put emphasis when she said her name, smiling as she did so.

\- Why do you insist on calling me that? - It was natural that Callie complained when someone told her full name, it was instinctively. For some reason that she didn't know, she didn't bother when the other woman said it, however, she didn't give up the habit.

Arizona smiled on the phone, she had done so with the intention of provoking a reaction in Callie. - Because it's your name, that's how I met you. It's strange to me say just "Callie"... but I'll try, but I can't promise anything.

\- Mmm... Okay - She said resignedly, maybe Arizona was as stubborn as Elis.

They spent a lot of time talking. For Arizona it was unreal to see Callie in the hospital bed when she could talk to her, so they didn't return to the room. Besides the conversation was easy, sometimes the silences arrived, but it wasn't uncomfortable.

Arizona couldn't understand how easy it was to talk to someone she didn't see. She sometimes feel a bit of discouragement and the uncertainty in Callie's voice, and she wanted to do something for her, but she knew she couldn't do anything else.

\- Arizona - Elis's voice caught her eye. - What are you doing here? I thought you were going to have a coffee, but you never came back.

\- Yes, I'm sorry. - She moved the phone near her ear. - I had to take a call... Did you finish the visit?

\- Yes - The old woman answered while looking at the other woman who still had the cell phone in conversation mode.

\- Oh! Just give me a minute. - She got up from her seat and walked away a little. - I have to go.

\- Okay... - Callie felt discouraged again.

\- I'll come back tomorrow... - The blonde quickly said, when she realized that she sounded a bit desperate, she tried to speak more calmly. - If you want, of cou... -

\- Yeah. - The brunette's voice also came out quickly, and upon realizing, tried to speak more slowly. - Sorry, I don't want to sound needy, but you have no idea what it's like to feel someone listening to me. - The blonde felt some sadness about Callie's situation, but she didn't know what to say. She just nodded, and after a silence she spoke again.

\- Well, then we'll see you tomorrow afternoon. - The blonde sighed, didn't know why it was so hard to say goodbye.

\- See you. - Callie responded with resignation.

Arizona took one last look as if she wanted to see Callie. She sighed deeply, and clenching her jaw, she turned to Elis. For some strange reason, she wanted it to be tomorrow. She looked down and shook her head, didn't understand what was happening to her.

Callie saw the two women leave, and she sadly went back to her routine.

. . .

\- Day 6 -

Callie was at the best moment of her day. That moment she received to her visitors and in which she forgot, for a moment, everything that is really happening.

She hadn't talked much with Arizona today, or rather, the blonde had talked little. They had stayed in the room with Elis, and Arizona couldn't respond, so she just let her know in some way that she was listening.

Callie's heart was very touched, listening to Elis. Everything, every gesture and every word, made her feel the affection, and how important she was for the other woman still.

\- I wish I'd been there, before all this, honey. - The old woman repressed her tears, while Arizona and Callie were silent.

Staying there, and listening to Elis, made that Callie remember many things, but the hardest part was feeling the sadness in the other woman. She would never have wanted her to feel that way.

\- I should have done something to at least know you were okay after you left... I missed you so much. - Callie wanted to tell her that it wasn't her fault that she had been the one who had left.

\- It was me who left, who left everything here... you don't have to feel guilty for not trying harder to find me, you probably wouldn't have gotten anything. - Arizona felt the sadness of Callie's voice and imagined how much she wanted Elis to hear her right now. - I missed you so much, but it was my fault... I'm so sorry... -

The old woman sighed, there were too many emotions in such a short time, and she was tired. Callie's condition remained the same, she hadn't shown any change or progress, and that worried her. She didn't want to believe that that was the way she would see Callie one last time.

Arizona remained silent, looking at Elis and listening to the words Callie. Then, she tried to talk to the older woman. - Elis. - She paused, waiting for Elis pay attention. - I'm sure Calliope wouldn't have wanted you to feel that way... if she left and didn't communicate with anyone, maybe it's because she needed it... but I'm sure she missed you as much as you did.

Callie was grateful that Arizona somehow tried to let her know how she felt. Elis knew that Arizona had no way of knowing that, but she felt calmer, and while she still caressed Callie's hand, she prayed that soon they could embrace each other.

. . .

Today the time came to an end and, unlike other days, had been more loaded with feelings and emotions, but still for Callie was good. Now the time had come when she didn't like it, where they had to say goodbye, and wait until another day.

Elis was the first to say goodbye and Arizona waited for her to leave the room, Callie knew why she did it.

\- I missed talking to you today... - The brunette said a little shy. - But still, it was a good time... thanks for saying what you said Elis... I really appreciate it... -

\- There is nothing to be thankful... - The blonde tried to joke, today, she also felt the weight of the emotions around. - See you tomorrow. - Arizona smiled. - I mean, we'll talk tomorrow... - Callie smiled at the blonde's words.

\- Take care, see you.

\- See you. - The blonde came out slowly.

. . .

\- Day 9 -

The days had passed and uncertainty grew as things didn't change. Each day that passed, Callie felt more trapped and hopeless. Her condition was the same, the doctors were confused because there were no signs of changes, when they should have seen some signs of improvement.

But even with all that, the moment she received her visitors, Callie was able to leave everything behind in her mind. And although she sometimes seemed to be involved in too many emotions... that moment was still the best of her day. Having Elis and Arizona was comforting to Callie.

. . .

Sometimes, the talk between the two women was a great challenge. Elis looked curiously at Arizona every time she spoke on the phone. She didn't understand what happened to her granddaughter, who, from one moment to another, didn't leave the phone. She saw something different in Arizona, her behaviour was quite strange at times.

For Callie, every day that passed, it became easier to interact with Arizona. They managed to speak without attracting attention, and laughed at the things that happened as a result of their communication attempts. Talking with Arizona broke her routine and pulled her out of the inertia she felt when they weren't there.

Things weren't very different for Arizona, she waited for this moment. She enjoyed talking to Callie, and quickly it was becoming something she didn't want to do without. That scared her, but instead of thinking about it, she preferred to enjoy it.

They were becoming friends, and even if the time elapsed was short, and the circumstances in which they had met were strange, it felt good. They got to know each other little by little, without getting too involved in personal matters. For both, every day, the moment to say goodbye became more and more difficult.

. . .

\- It's hard to stop talking to you... - A smile appeared on Arizona's face in shame. - I don't know why, but even if all this seems unreal... it feels good to talk to you. -

\- I know what you're talking about... I feel the same way. - Callie didn't want this moment to came, but she took a deep breath to do the right thing. - Elis is waiting for you... - She had to say goodbye.

\- I know, I know... - The blonde didn't want to leave, and after a silence she spoke again. - Could you come close to me? - Arizona didn't know why she said that.

Callie moved slowly. - I'm behind you. - Arizona closed her eyes, wanted to feel Callie's presence behind her. She wanted to turn around and see her really, because she never managed to look at her unconscious body, because something was missing there.

\- I wish I could see you... - She closed her eyes, imagining Callie behind her, and she took a deep breath.

\- I wish I could touch you... - The brunette raised her hand wanting to reach the arm of Arizona, but couldn't close the distance completely. Only a few inches separated her fingers from another woman's skin. She closed her eyes and imagined that in the movement of her hand up and down she was touching Arizona.

They were lost for a moment in their own mind. It was strange how they had known and connected their lives, but for some reason it felt good, rewarding.

They didn't know if that friendship would be possible if Callie woke up from unconsciousness, because at the moment there were many things that they ignored and could play against, but nobody wanted to think about it... at least not when they were together.

. . .


	6. Chapter 6

.

\- Day 11 -

Callie POV

A hug.

Is there anyone who can know how much I need it?

Sometimes I need to cry and I can't.

It's as if the tears don't want to come out, even when I feel a lump in my throat that doesn't let me breathe.

I feel a pressure in my chest constantly and, sometimes, all I feel is despair.

I need to hold onto someone and I don't know to whom.

I wish I could close my eyes and feel the warmth of a sincere hug. One of those who silently express more than words. However, in the middle of this senseless space, in me, there is only a feeling of emptiness, because I can't reach such a simple desire of the heart.

Cold and loneliness, it is all I'm beginning to experience.

. . .

The days go by and I still see my unconscious body in a hospital bed.

No reaction, no changes.

It's like being dead in life, living without living.

It torments me to think that I will never wake up and I will stay here forever. In a non-existent place, hidden from the eyes of the others.

. . .

My day begins and ends with the visit of Ellis and Arizona. Beyond that, there is nothing. It's all I have, and what motivates my day.

I've become dependent on them and I feel that it is something unusual for me. Because I feel that dependency has nothing to do with my way of being, but it's just a feeling, because I'm not even sure how I am.

. . .

Today I have a very strange feeling.

It's as if I moved with heaviness, and I don't know what it is.

My thoughts have slowed down and I've tried to keep the usual conversation with Arizona, but even that has been difficult.

I can't stop thinking, and I can't stop looking at my own body in that bed.

Is there something of me there?

My mind comes and goes, and I've not managed to focus on anything concrete.

. . .

General POV

\- You're here? - Arizona spoke and after a while without receiving an answer, she tried again. - Calliope? - The brunette heard the voice too far and couldn't unlock her mind. - You're still here? - Arizona insisted, and Callie made an attempt to return to reality.

Callie looked away from her physical body slowly and with difficulty. She was tired. Her eyes remained on Arizona's face for a moment, not knowing how long she had been lost in her thoughts. - Yes. - That's all she could say, because even doing that was hard to do today.

\- You're good? - Arizona asked with concern. Today she hadn't received much attention from Callie and it seemed strange to her. She didn't know it was, but she could feel there was something strange in Callie's voice, she could perceive it.

In fact, there was something about it this morning. Something she couldn't explain, but she felt she had to see Callie. It wasn't the time when she and Ellis visited Callie, but she felt the need to go, guided only by instinct.

\- Yes. Everything is fine. - The brunette talked again with a sigh.

\- I feel like you're far from here. - Arizona wanted to know what was happening.

\- Sorry, it's just that I feel tired and... - Callie sighs again, she couldn't finish talking.

\- What is? You can tell me. -

\- I don't know... It's just that I feel a little vulnerable, maybe that has made me a little withdrawn. I feel like my emotions are about to explode, but they don't come out... and... I feel my body as if it were separate from me, if that makes sense... I'm scared, I have a strange feeling inside of me... -

\- Is there anything I can do? - Arizona didn't know what to do, but she wanted to be able to help. Callie smiled at the blonde's words, knew exactly what she needed, but knew that was impossible.

\- You're here, that's enough. - The brunette said sadly.

\- I wish I could do more because I feel my words are not enough. I wish I could hold you tight... so you can feel that I'm with you, and you're not alone, you have me... -

That was what Callie desperately needed, a hug. And she knew that Arizona couldn't physically give her that hug, but the fact that she said it caused a feeling of gratitude inside her. However, she regretted not having it.

\- Thank you... - It was all Callie could say before her emotions prevented her from speaking. Arizona felt it, and wanted to try something, maybe it wasn't what Callie needed, but maybe it helped.

\- Where are you? - The blonde asked.

\- Next to the window. - Arizona got up from her seat without knowing exactly where the brunette was.

\- I can't see you, but get close to me. - Callie did as she asked, and stood in front of the blonde, very close.

\- Here I am, right in front of you. - Her voice came out weak.

The blonde raised her hand slowly, leaving the palm of her right hand in front of Callie, and closed her eyes. The brunette looked in silence and did what instinct led her to do. She raised her own hand, imitating the Arizona movement. The palms of their hands were in parallel, separated only by millimetres, but unable to close the distances. They stood for a moment in silence, trying to imagine what it would be like if their hands touched.

\- I can feel you're close... - Arizona broke the silence with her soft voice full of emotions. She couldn't feel Callie physically, and she didn't need her to say anything, but she knew that she was very close.

Arizona's heart was jumping uncontrollably. It was as if she could really see Callie awake, conscious and full of life, in front of her. She could almost feel her breath, she could almost feel the touch, as if everything were real.

In the midst of so many feelings, a question arose in Arizona's mind. What was happening with her?

That was something she had been thinking about for days and had not wanted to give it importance, but today it was impossible to ignore it. Her emotions, her feelings, her thoughts, everything was related to Callie. At work, at home, with people around, or in solitude. There was no time of day when Callie didn't cross her mind.

Arizona reproached herself for feeling that way, she knew where those feelings were going. She had never felt this way, and that made her feel insecure and scared, but she couldn't fight against it. And even though she knew she was making a mistake, because that could never be real, she couldn't help it.

In recent years, Arizona had concentrated on caring for her grandmother, her work and sharing with her best friends when she could. That was it. She never had, nor did she wanted to have more. She didn't crave, nor did she have dreams that would involve anyone else. Her love life was non-existent, there were no serious or important relationships throughout her life. Only sex of one night, very occasionally.

Her friends often told her that she was addicted to work, and that she had to disconnect from time to time to give herself the opportunity to rest and forget responsibilities. Arizona, despite having her own business, a very popular coffee shop and restaurant in the center of the small town, called Battleship's, never took the time for herself.

She had people she could trust to take control, but she never took a break. She knew that her perseverance and dedication was what had turned her little coffee shop into the place it was today. Therefore, she never regretted the time she dedicate to it.

Sometimes, her friends insisted that she should go out more, but she always told them she did it. Maybe she always shared with the same group of friends, but that was all she needed and it was enough for her. Everything else was never a problem. But now, things seemed to start to changing, and she never thought that she would. Much less that it would begin to change in such stranger circumstances.

None of that was possible because she didn't know if Callie was going to wake up, or even if there was any chance she would come back from the coma. Besides, she didn't know anything about Callie. The brunette had a life away from there and what that life could mean or imply was far from encouraging her.

. . .

Many things had gone through her mind and she had been lost for a moment in the feelings. Arizona breathed deeply, and after that silence in which they stayed, she spoke again. - I can feel how close you are, can you feel it? -

Callie, who was lost in her own thoughts and emotions, came back to reality. - Yes, I can feel it... it's almost as if I could touch you.

\- I wish I could hold you now... I know I can't do it... but I want you to think I'm doing it. You don't need to see it, you just have to feel it... I'm here with you, hugging you tightly. - Callie closed her eyes with more force and unable to contain her emotions, tears finally fell.

Callie felt a weight outside her, Arizona's words had reached her heart deeply and she was grateful. From one moment to the next, she felt as if everything disappeared around and there they were, facing each other.

Then, she felt as if her hand had had real contact with Arizona, and imagined their fingers intertwined. Callie didn't want to lose that feeling, because feeling another human being was all she wanted.

\- I can feel you... - Callie said, while Arizona felt the same way. - I needed this so much. - Between sobs, she felt as if her body would collapse at any moment, and she continued to speak with effort. - Thank... for being here... -

\- You have nothing to thank. -

The silence fell between them once more, there was nothing more to say, only to feel. Everything seemed real to them. Their eyes never opened, for fear of losing the sensation of contact. They felt their hands, they felt as if they could feel their breath, and it was almost as if the beating of their hearts touched.

Then something happened, it was no just a feeling anymore. Callie felt their fingers interlaced and wondered if the blonde could feel the same.

\- Arizona... I... - Her words were interrupted by Arizona.

\- I'm feeling it, too... - She answered quickly without Callie completing what she wanted to say. - I can feel your touch... I don't know how it's possible, or it happens... but I can. - Without opening her eyes, the blonde brought her other hand to the front, and stopped when she felt Callie's body.

\- You can... you can touch me... - Callie couldn't believe what she was feeling.

\- Yes, I can... this is unreal ... how is this possible? -

\- Ah! - Callie suddenly felt a loud buzzing in her head and instinctively put her hands to her head. Arizona felt the loss of contact and opened her eyes.

\- Calliope? - Now everything was as usual, Arizona didn't see and couldn't feel anything. Was everything caused by her imagination and her desire to make it come true?

\- Something happens, Arizona... Ah! - The blonde began to worry, and extended her arms wanting to feel Callie, but nothing happened. Maybe it was never real? She thought.

\- Tell me something, tell me what you feel... -

\- I don't know, it's my head... it's... –

\- Calliope, talk to me... - Silence. - Calliope? - Arizona's heart began to run fast, something told her that Callie wasn't well. - Callie! - The blonde shouted and went out into the corridor. - Callie! - She said aloud again, no matter if someone thought she was crazy, but got no response.

Arizona returned to the room and went to the bed where Callie's body was. - Calliope? Can you hear me? Please, tell me something. - She put her hand in the brunette's hand, and it was like a minute ago when she could feel her, the same sensation, only that she had no answer.

Since she started talking to Callie, she never paid attention to her body again, because she didn't want to see her there, in that state, when she knew there was a lot of life in the other woman. But now, she was there trying to talk to her, because she didn't know what else to do. - Please, Calliope. - Tears began to appear inadvertently. She felt as if Callie had left and she wasn't ready for that. - Come back... I need you back... – Still hadn't finished talking when Callie's body shook and she jumped scared.

Another shake, and a beep caught her attention. Then the incessantly sound of machines, while Callie's body convulsed. - Help! - Arizona screamed desperately, as the sound of the machines seemed to break in her head. - A doctor, she needs a doctor, something happens... fast, please. –

Quickly, two nurses entered the room and approached, and while they examined Callie, one of them spoke. - Call Mackenzie! - She tells to another nurse, then turned her attention to the blonde. - I need you to leave the room. –

\- No, I can't... I can't leave her... tell me what's happening. -

\- Let us do our work, please. - The nurse spoke again but paying more attention to what happened to Callie than to the fact that the blonde was still there.

It didn't take long, when two doctors arrived. Words from here to there, orders, machine sounds... everything happened in slow motion in front of Arizona

She had felt Callie, Why was she leaving?

No, it couldn't be.

\- She's in fibrillating... charge 200, clear!

\- No changes... charge 300, clear!

. . .

After a few minutes of hard work to revive Callie, the doctors looked at each other with resignation. There was nothing else to do.

Arizona saw the scene, she didn't want to believe that that was all. It wasn't possible, it couldn't be true. - No! - She approached, understanding the look between them. - That can't be... you should try again, please... she hasn't left. - The despair in her voice was evident. - Do something... – A nurse came to help her and Arizona reject her touch. - No! - She went to bed Callie. - Please, Calliope... - She took her hand, could still feel there was something in her.

Doctor Mackenzie saw the blonde woman and looked at the monitor for something, anything that was the slightest indication that he could do more. Suddenly, driven perhaps by instinct and hope, without wanting to give up, he spoke again. - More epinephrine. - The nurses looked at him questioning his decision. - Just do it, fast! Charge 360... Clear! -

Mackenzie was Callie's primary doctor. He had been with Callie since she had been admitted, and he took a special fondness for her. Maybe it was her situation, possibly empathy for not having anyone with her when she arrived. Therefore, he didn't question his decision, there was nothing to lose. So he focused on his work, without giving up what he felt.

Today, he acts without logical reason, just a feeling. For everyone else in the room, it didn't make sense what he was doing. But they did what he ordered, without believing nothing could change because everything indicated that the patient had died.

But then a different warning beep indicated a heartbeat. Everyone seemed surprised, but they moved quickly around her again, and after a while, one of them spoke. - We have her. –

What happened? That was all they asked themselves.

Arizona was surprised, was trying to convince herself of what was happening while she told herself that Callie was still there. She dried her tears quickly and after what seemed like an eternity she felt herself breathing again.

She continued to watch the hustle in the room, and the disbelief in the faces of the doctors. Now nothing else mattered. Callie was there, somewhere, and even when something told her she would never hear her it again, there was something more powerful saying her that they would meet soon.

\- I know you'll wake up soon, Calliope... and I'll finally see your eyes. - Her words were whispered with a shy smile of relief in the midst all the commotion, while looking around.

. . .


	7. Chapter 7

.

Day 16

A pain hit her suddenly.

Her heart was pounding and her head seems to explode at any moment.

Voices that come and go.

Luminous flashes that glide through her eyelids that open almost imperceptibly.

She tries to move, but she can't.

She wants to say something, but her voice doesn't come out.

Her body seems atrophied, so does her mind.

Her eyes flicker again, barely open, the light seems to burn and her eyes close tightly.

Restlessness.

Difficulty breathing.

More pain.

Darkness.

. . .

For Arizona, it was always important to have control of her emotions, her feelings and everything that happens in her life in general. That is an essential part of who she is as a person. However, at this moment, for the first time in her life, she felt as if everything was out of control.

First is the fact of almost losing someone who made her feel an indescribable pain, a feeling unknown for her. Second, is the fact of not being able to handle what she feel for someone she barely knows and who crossed her life in an absolutely surreal way.

She had met a woman in an inexplicably way. A woman who had taken every part of her without even being aware of it. A woman who, despite the short time they knew each other or the strange circumstances in which they met, had gotten deeply into her heart.

Seeing Callie's life almost disappear in front of her eyes, unable to do anything, caused feelings that she believed didn't exist. Arizona, never, in all her life she had felt so impotent, scared and lost.

The last few days had been stressful, full of uncertainty and constant concern for Arizona. However, after that horrible day, things had calmed down and she had the secret hope that Callie would wake up soon. There was something inside her that told her not to lose confidence, because if Callie had been able to overcome what had happened when everyone thought there was nothing else to do, now everything was possible.

But something else had happened that day, something that kept her in a strange melancholy. Arizona couldn't feel Callie as before, and even when she tried to find out if she was somewhere, she knew that her presence was gone and that she wouldn't have her in the same way again.

Then her mind quickly changed to another thought. Something common these days, where hopes slid like water between her fingers from one moment to another.

What happens if Callie doesn't wake up?

Would she never have the chance to really meet Callie?

Would she never know if the sound of Callie's voice was as she had heard it?

Maybe she would never know if her smile was as she had imagined it.

Maybe, simply, she wasn't destined to meet the eyes she so wanted to see.

Arizona's mind was a complete disaster these days. Hope and despair, in a constant struggle. Until hope finally began to win, but along with it arose uncertainty.

Callie was reacting and that was good news, because after what had seemed an eternity, finally she began to show signs of improvement to the amazement of doctors. After the brunette went into shock, nobody presaged a good omen for her, however, after they managed to stabilize her, her condition only improved surprisingly. By the same reason, a few days ago, her doctors had taken the decision to withdraw the sedation that kept her in a coma, and thus be able to evaluate her condition. So now the doctors were waiting for her to wake up at any moment. How would she wake up? That was another matter, but all they could do was wait.

Arizona was constantly at her side. Elis couldn't do the same, weeks had passed and the years, sometimes, weighed on her.

The blonde, despite being there with Callie, missed her. She missed that presence she didn't see but felt so strongly in each of their interactions. She missed that invisible bond that united them and also the possibility of talking to her. She missed the adorable clumsiness that occurred between them when they had to say goodbye and didn't want to.

When she thought about it and everything had been shared, inevitably she felt fear. Fear that Callie didn't know who she was. Fear of having to keep everything she felt inside her and pretend as if nothing had happened.

Arizona sighed and rubbed her tired eyes as she looked out the window. She had been watching how Callie had started to react little by little after the doctors had removed the sedatives that kept her in a coma. It had been some days and the brunette had started to move, her eyes seemed to make the attempt to want to open or wrinkled her forehead as if she felt pain.

Now, the answers were more and more imminent, and she was impatient and restless. She knew she had to be patient, but she also had to think about all the possibilities.

What if she meant nothing to the other woman?

Arizona didn't want to think about that, but she had to. She knew that everything happened was crazy and, maybe, if she told someone how they met, wouldn't believe her. But she was waiting, or dreaming, that Callie would remember her.

She had promised Elis that she would be by Callie's side until someone could take care of her. What would come next, time would tell. However, no matter what it meant for hers, or what the future might bring, she will keep her word.

The important thing was that Callie woke up and was able to recover. It didn't matter if their strange friendship would be included in that life, because if she had no place there, there was nothing she could do.

. . .

Callie had lost count of how many times she had tried. Her eyes blink, she tries to open it, but she can't. She doesn't know where she is and doesn't understand what's happening. She doesn't have the strength to talk or coordinate something in her mind. The pain becomes constant every time she is conscious, then she feels something in her veins and falls asleep.

. . .

Arizona is sitting near the window lost in her thoughts and the tiredness is reflected in her face, the concern has begun to take its toll on her, but there was no other place where she wanted to be. She knows that she has neglected her business, but appreciates not having to comply with schedules and having good friends to take charge. However, although she has tried to keep this situation away from her friends and work, they are already worried. She knows she must share it, or at least explain something about it, but she knows it will not be now. At the moment, she has no head for anything else.

Every time that Arizona feel a movement, look at the bed. Callie moves gently from time to time as if she's trying to wake up, but when she does, it seems that her body experiences pain and soon falls unconscious again.

Callie is connected to IVs and monitored by machines, but respiratory support was eliminated. Several times a day, a nurse gives her massage and exercise to stimulate her muscles and the functional capacity of her body. Arizona knows that everything was fine, that is a step in the right direction. But she is impatient, and every time Callie tries to open her eyes, her heart is exalted between emotion and fear.

This is how Arizona feels now, once more. She has risen from her seat and has kept a safe distance from the bed while watched those attempts once more.

Callie's eyes blink and Arizona sighs. She has been there several times.

Now she expects her body to shake a little and then calm down.

It's the pattern that Arizona has seen again and again.

Callie's fingers move awkwardly, "this is new", Arizona thinks to herself. She waits a moment to see if Callie's movements stop as on other occasions, but that doesn't happen. This time there is something different, she can feel it. Her heart jumps uncontrollably, expectantly and anxiously. She doesn't know if she should wait or call someone, everything she feels is overwhelming and she doesn't know what to do.

Callie continues on her attempts, then Arizona finally realizes that she should call a doctor. A few seconds later she arrives with Doctor Mackenzie and some nurses appears quickly. They examine Callie while Arizona stays in the distance. Motionless, excited and very scared.

Then, she sees, what she has been waiting for. After many attempts, Callie's eyes open with difficulty. The brunette frowns slightly and moves her dry lips, but she is not able to speak. Arizona feels her hands sweat while her heart is about to leave her chest. Callie has woken up, that's all her head can repeat and everything around her seems to have stopped. She is paralyzed at the door of the room.

. . .

Arizona listens to the doctor's voice as if he is far away and can only capture parts of what he says. Something about how well she seems to be responding, about some tests that must be applied to know with certainty what her general condition and if there are any kind of sequels.

Then, without knowing how much time has passed, she realizes that the doctor has been talking to her and tries to pay attention. The preliminary examination has been encouraging, Callie hasn't spoken, but responded physically. He instructs not to talk about what happened or anything that may alter her. Everything must come to her gradually, and according to her own time, because the doctor doesn't yet know about the state of her memory.

Arizona nods while listening carefully to everything the doctor says and recommends. Once he leaves, she can't avoid approaching to Callie who has gone back to sleep. In silence, slowly approaching the side of the bed, unconsciously tries to take her hand but stops abruptly when she realizes what she is going to do. Arizona wants to touch her, but she doesn't know if it's okay to do it because she can't help thinking that maybe her presence could disturb her.

Whatever happens from now on, if Callie remembers her life and knows that she's not part of it, if Callie remembers having met her somewhere of the unconsciousness, or doesn't remember anything about her life in general or where she was while in a coma, in all cases, her reaction will be unpredictable, so Arizona think it is better to be cautious.

However, Arizona, seeing how close their hands are, on impulse, puts her hand on hers. The blonde aware of what she did, is about to withdraw her hand when she feels the movement of the brunette's fingers. She is paralyzed and barely breathes for fear of what is to come.

After what seems like an eternity, she breathes deeply. Slowly and fearfully, she begins to bring her gaze to Callie's face. For a moment, she sees how Callie's eyes try to open again, and then it happens... their eyes met for the first time.

Her heart is beating strongly. Emotion and fear, many are the feelings at this time.

Finally, she was seeing Callie's eyes. Eyes that she had never seen in her life, but it was as if she had always known them. A small smile played instinctively on her lips, but she immediately suppressed it nervously. She clenched her jaw hard to control her emotions and she keep silent about anything she wanted to say.

For a moment, she simply squeezed Callie's hand in a gesture of affection, wanting to make her feel she wasn't alone.

What would come from there?

Soon she would know.

. . .


	8. Chapter 8

.

 _Thanks to all who continue reading this._

 _I'm sorry for all the mistakes, English is not my language._

* * *

After many attempts, Callie was finally able to keep her eyes open for more than an instant. However, she wasn't very aware of what was happening around her, because it was as if everything was happening outside of her. The woman had a headache and her body was exhausted, as much as she wanted to do more than try to keep her eyes open, it was almost impossible.

Callie knew there were people around her. She could hear voices, but not understand what they were saying. The brunette knew that someone was doing some kind of examination on her. She saw a direct light in her eyes, something cold in her chest, and some punctures in her legs and soles of her feet. Her mind was confused, she could guess that she was in a hospital, but beyond that, she was completely lost.

She had the feeling of being trapped in her own body and oblivious to what was happening around her even though her brain was fully active. She wanted to talk but couldn't, she wanted to see clearly those who were close to her, but all she saw were silhouettes a little blurred.

Callie wanted to know what was happening, but her mind was atrophied. Her body didn't help either, all the reactions to the stimuli and tests were automatic reflexes, because every time she tried to move consciously, a great pain paralyzed her.

The brunette closed her eyes, she was exhausted and was unable to keep her eyes open for longer. She took a deep breath in a monumental effort trying to relax her body and mind. Soon she fell into a state of drowsiness, but still a little conscious.

. . .

Callie didn't notice when the people with her had left the room, but she supposed she was alone because of the silence around her. She was aware that she had had a lapse, a waste of time and space. She didn't know if the time that had happened had been much or little, but she supposed that her lack of clarity was due to the medications that were probably being given to her.

The brunette, still with her eyes closed, was trying to calm her restless mind. The questions had begun to arrive, and no matter how hard she tried to bring a memory, she wasn't able to remember anything, her mind seemed to be completely empty.

However, there was something that kept her calm, something unknown that comforted her and didn't let her panic. What was it? She didn't know, it was just a feeling. Something that was in her heart but she didn't know how to describe.

In this dilemma she was when she felt a warm touch in her hand. The brunette was afraid to open her eyes at first, but when she felt the contact, her hand reacted autonomously. Callie began to open her eyes slowly, with difficulty, and struggled to focus her vision in several blinks. She saw a silhouette, someone who was at her side, someone she hadn't felt until now.

Has someone just arrived or that person had always been there?

Her eyes tried to adjust to the light in the best possible way, with difficulty she could see how that person slowly raised head to look in her direction. Callie struggled to focus her eyes to see clearly, but it was less difficult than the first time. Finally, after a moment, she was able to distinguish who this silhouette belonged to.

She saw a woman with curls and expressive eyes. For a moment, she was lost in that expressive look and saw a small smile appeared on the lips of the other woman. Who was she? Callie didn't know, but she felt familiar.

While the brunette tried to solve what was in her mind, and as her eyes adjusted more and more to the light and her surroundings, she saw how the woman suppressed the smile that had appeared on her lips as soon as she appeared, and suddenly felt a handshake. Callie felt the affection in that gesture, but she could also feel the other woman's nerves.

The brunette frowned. Who was that woman and why did she feel so familiar with her? Why did the woman seem scared?

Callie wanted to ask her questions, she wanted to talk, but it was as if she didn't know how to do it. She knew that she knew the woman from somewhere, but she didn't know where. Friend? Family? Many were the options.

The brunette tried remember one more time, however, everything was a great void. Callie thought she probably should have panicked a long time ago, because she couldn't even remember her own name, but she didn't understand why she didn't feel anything of that.

She made an attempt to move her lips to speak, but all that came out was a thick, low sound. Her throat was dry and she nearly choked on the attempt.

The blonde woman saw Callie's difficulty, so she took a bottle of water and held it close to the brunette's mouth. Callie struggled to catch the straw between her lips, drank some liquid and felt relief in her throat. She drank enough and, still looking at the woman in front of her, let the straw.

After a moment, the brunette tried to formulate her first words. - I... you... - She felt clumsy and helpless of not being able to complete a simple sentence, and if before she didn't feel anything, now she was beginning to feel a little frustration.

Arizona didn't want Callie to push too hard, so she tried to calm her down. - Relax, take it easy. - Arizona didn't want to say much. She didn't want to be a determining factor in what the other woman said, remembered or asked. The blonde also tried to take it easy, although all she felt inside her was anxiety.

\- You... Do I know you? - The few words that came out of the brunette's mouth were like a dagger in the heart of Arizona. Everything she had been dreading seemed to begin to take shape. Arizona wanted to say yes, you know me, we know each other, but she knew that she couldn't do it. She was silent trying to contain the tears. Now she didn't know what to say, nor how to act in front of the brunette, and all she wanted was to flee from there.

Callie saw the fight in the blonde's eyes, but she didn't understand why the woman didn't respond. The brunette wanted to know who she was, because at that moment the woman was a complete stranger to her, but somehow she felt familiar. - Who are you? Do you know me? - Those were the words that ended up ruining the spirit of the blonde, because that was her worst nightmare becoming a reality. Callie didn't remember her, didn't know who she was.

\- You ... I ... I kn... - Arizona stumbled over the words, she knew she shouldn't say anything. Besides, it was absurd to tell her how they met, because she knew that if she said something like that to the brunette, she would never believe her. Then she did what she thought was right. - Sorry, I didn't want to bother you, but no... We don't know each other... I just... - She couldn't finish speaking when she felt tears in her eyes. The last thing she wanted was cry in front of Callie, so she turned and took a deep breath, she had to calm down. - Sorry, I... - Arizona was going to try to talk again when the need to get out of there was greater. - I have to go. - Then, without looking back, she started walking toward the door.

Callie saw the tears build up in blue eyes before she turned around, but she didn't understand what was happening with the other woman. If they didn't know each other, she wondered why the blonde acted so strangely. Nor did she understand why she felt so desperate to hold her and comfort her. - Wait! No... Don't go. - Arizona felt the need in Callie's words and immediately felt bad. The blonde knew that she had to be a support and not a burden for the brunette, because she knew how difficult and confusing this moment was for the other woman. She knew that thousands of questions had to be going through the mind of the brunette, and her actions didn't help her at all, but it was difficult to act rationally.

Did Callie remembered anything of her life before the accident? Or just didn't remember her because of the way they met? Those were the questions that suddenly crossed Arizona's mind. The blonde clenched her jaw, and taking strength, but without turning around, spoke with resignation. - Calliope... -

The name of the brunette escaped her lips unintentionally, and she recriminated herself. Arizona wanted to say many things, but she knew that she couldn't do it because it wasn't what her doctors had recommended her. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply thinking what to say, but when she was going to speak again, the brunette interrupted her.

Callie didn't want the blonde woman to leave, she didn't have anyone around and she needed answers, but when the blonde said that name, something happened inside her. - That's my name. - The brunette knew immediately, but by the way it sounded, and the way the other woman said her name, she also knew something else. - And I... I know you. -

The last words startled Arizona's heart and resonated in her ears. She didn't know if she was dreaming, but she felt that her heart was beginning to beat and that she could breathe again. Arizona turned slowly for fear of breaking that dream, and there, unable to speak, simply looked at the brunette. The blonde felt Callie's intense gaze wanting to scrutinize her, wanting to know where she knew her from. Arizona smiled shyly and tilted her head to one side with narrowed eyes, encouraging her to remember.

Callie saw the woman smile and that gesture, so particular, that she had seen before. She knew her, now she was sure of that. However her mind was confused and she repeated her name over and over again, as if with that she could bring more memories.

 _"Calliope"._

A sound, a voice, and the special way that woman pronounced her name, was what triggered her mind to open up, but she needed to get beyond.

 _"Calliope"._

A name, a word, a sound, and a form, playing again in her mind. Then, suddenly, many images began to bombard her mind. A beach, a house, a hospital, flashes of a woman, blond curls, blue eyes, laughter and conversations. As sequences, one after another, interspersed and without order, played again and again in her mind.

Then, everything stopped abruptly, and suddenly Callie looked into the eyes of the blonde deeply. The other woman was paralyzed by the intensity and emotion of her gaze, and her heart almost stopped when Callie spoke again. - Arizona? - The blonde couldn't believe it, Callie had said her name, she had remembered.

. . .


End file.
